Q: Does couple's counseling really work?
A: Yes! Couples counseling (sometimes called martial counseling, marriage therapy, or relationship therapy) has
helped countless couples have happier, more fulfilling relationships. But, there is no guarantee. It doesn't work for
everyone equally. The couples who have the best chance at succeeding in couples therapy are ones who are
dedicated to changing the way they conduct themselves in their relationships and truly want things to be better.
Q: My partner doesn't want to attend. Are we doomed?
A: Not necessarily. I believe the even small changes made by one partner can make a huge difference to the
relationship. If your partner won't attend counseling, consider attending alone. You will gain a new perspective
along with many new skills that you can take back to your relationship, often with positive results. And perhaps
when your partner sees the changes occurring in you, he or she will reconsider attending counseling with you. For
more information about attending alone, click here.
Q: What happens in couple's counseling?
A: Basically, we spend some time determining the issues that bring you to therapy, explore relevant relationship
history and person history, and do goal setting. Insight and behavioral changes discussed in session need to be
implemented and practiced outside of sessions -- that's where the real work comes in, and where the biggest
potential for change occurs. Couple's counseling is not a place to assign blame nor to try to change your partner.
There is almost always some element of responsibility on the part of both partners for the state of the relationship,
therefore blame is not only unhelpful, it can be destructive. Identifying and building on a couple's strengths is an
approach that tends to be most effective.
Q: How often will we have to attend and for how long?
A: It is recommended that couples start off attending sessions every week or even more frequently if there are more
serious issues. Regular, frequent sessions usually allow for more progress in the beginning, which is very important.
As the relationship becomes more stable, sessions can occur less frequently until the couple feels ready to use their
new skills on their own. Occasional "tune-ups" can be arranged, if needed. The actual time line is difficult to
determine because every couple's needs are different. Some couples may only need four to six sessions while others
may need to work on things for a few months before they are ready to taper off.
Q: Will insurance pay for couple's counseling?
A: No, usually not. The only way insurance will typically pay for couple's counseling is if one of the individuals is given
a diagnosis (i.e. depression, anxiety, PTSD) and it is determined that couple's counseling would be beneficial to the
outcome of that client. For example, if a client has clinical depression which is being worsened by conflict in the
marriage, couples counseling can be a recommended treatment for the depression. However, it is unethical for a
therapist to assign a diagnosis just to get insurance to pay for couple's counseling. Also, when insurance is involved
in your treatment plan, they may make treatment decisions with which you or your therapist may or may not agree.
When you pay for your own therapy, you and your therapist are in control of treatment, and neither you or your
partner must be labeled with a diagnosis. Click here to learn more about payment options.
Q: I think I'm ready to give couple's counseling a try. What should I do now?
A: You can contact me via confidential voice mail at 763.355.4675 or write an email here. I try to get couples in the
same week they make contact whenever possible. When we make arrangements for an appointment, I will email (or
mail through post) an informed consent packet outlining my policies and your rights as a client. I will also send a few
questionnaires to be completed and brought with you to the first session.
A: Yes! Couples counseling (sometimes called martial counseling, marriage therapy, or relationship therapy) has
helped countless couples have happier, more fulfilling relationships. But, there is no guarantee. It doesn't work for
everyone equally. The couples who have the best chance at succeeding in couples therapy are ones who are
dedicated to changing the way they conduct themselves in their relationships and truly want things to be better.
Q: My partner doesn't want to attend. Are we doomed?
A: Not necessarily. I believe the even small changes made by one partner can make a huge difference to the
relationship. If your partner won't attend counseling, consider attending alone. You will gain a new perspective
along with many new skills that you can take back to your relationship, often with positive results. And perhaps
when your partner sees the changes occurring in you, he or she will reconsider attending counseling with you. For
more information about attending alone, click here.
Q: What happens in couple's counseling?
A: Basically, we spend some time determining the issues that bring you to therapy, explore relevant relationship
history and person history, and do goal setting. Insight and behavioral changes discussed in session need to be
implemented and practiced outside of sessions -- that's where the real work comes in, and where the biggest
potential for change occurs. Couple's counseling is not a place to assign blame nor to try to change your partner.
There is almost always some element of responsibility on the part of both partners for the state of the relationship,
therefore blame is not only unhelpful, it can be destructive. Identifying and building on a couple's strengths is an
approach that tends to be most effective.
Q: How often will we have to attend and for how long?
A: It is recommended that couples start off attending sessions every week or even more frequently if there are more
serious issues. Regular, frequent sessions usually allow for more progress in the beginning, which is very important.
As the relationship becomes more stable, sessions can occur less frequently until the couple feels ready to use their
new skills on their own. Occasional "tune-ups" can be arranged, if needed. The actual time line is difficult to
determine because every couple's needs are different. Some couples may only need four to six sessions while others
may need to work on things for a few months before they are ready to taper off.
Q: Will insurance pay for couple's counseling?
A: No, usually not. The only way insurance will typically pay for couple's counseling is if one of the individuals is given
a diagnosis (i.e. depression, anxiety, PTSD) and it is determined that couple's counseling would be beneficial to the
outcome of that client. For example, if a client has clinical depression which is being worsened by conflict in the
marriage, couples counseling can be a recommended treatment for the depression. However, it is unethical for a
therapist to assign a diagnosis just to get insurance to pay for couple's counseling. Also, when insurance is involved
in your treatment plan, they may make treatment decisions with which you or your therapist may or may not agree.
When you pay for your own therapy, you and your therapist are in control of treatment, and neither you or your
partner must be labeled with a diagnosis. Click here to learn more about payment options.
Q: I think I'm ready to give couple's counseling a try. What should I do now?
A: You can contact me via confidential voice mail at 763.355.4675 or write an email here. I try to get couples in the
same week they make contact whenever possible. When we make arrangements for an appointment, I will email (or
mail through post) an informed consent packet outlining my policies and your rights as a client. I will also send a few
questionnaires to be completed and brought with you to the first session.
| Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Counseling |
Disclaimer: The contents of this site and all the pages herein are intended for informational purposes only and are subject to change without notice at any time. None of
the information in this site is intended to be taken as advice therapeutic, legal, or otherwise. At no time does use of this site nor communication through this site constitute a
therapeutic relationship between the user and therapist. Kari L.M. Silverberg, MA, LAMFT and Theraspire Counseling Services, PLLC assumes no liability for the
content of this site or damages that may result from use, reference to, reliance on, or decisions resulting from its use. Use of this site establishes your consent to the
provisions of this disclaimer. Copyright 2006. All rights reserved.
the information in this site is intended to be taken as advice therapeutic, legal, or otherwise. At no time does use of this site nor communication through this site constitute a
therapeutic relationship between the user and therapist. Kari L.M. Silverberg, MA, LAMFT and Theraspire Counseling Services, PLLC assumes no liability for the
content of this site or damages that may result from use, reference to, reliance on, or decisions resulting from its use. Use of this site establishes your consent to the
provisions of this disclaimer. Copyright 2006. All rights reserved.
